Concerned About a Senior Loved One? Here’s How to Start a Conversation
Watching an older loved one withdraw from activities they once enjoyed, spend more time alone or act less like themselves can feel alarming. It can be difficult to know what to do or how to start a meaningful conversation.
While your instinct may be to jump in with solutions, Memorial Health clinicians with Senior Life Solutions encourage families to begin with empathy and curiosity.
“The goal isn’t to convince someone they need help,” said Martin Stauffer with Senior Life Solutions at Jacksonville Memorial Hospital. “The goal is to let them know they’re seen, cared for and not alone.”
Rather than leading with concerns about depression or mental health, focus on specific changes you’ve observed.
“I’ve noticed you haven’t been getting together with your friends as much lately, and I miss seeing you enjoy those outings. How have you been feeling?”
This approach opens the door to an honest conversation without putting someone on the defensive. It communicates concern and care instead of judgment.
Many older adults grew up in a time when mental health struggles weren’t openly discussed. As a result, they may feel embarrassed or ashamed to talk about feeling sad, anxious or overwhelmed.
It can help to normalize what they’re experiencing. Life changes such as retirement, the loss of a spouse or friend, health challenges, reduced independence or relocation can all take an emotional toll. Let them know that it’s understandable to feel affected by those changes.
“You’ve been through a lot recently. Anyone in your situation would find that difficult.”
Validation doesn’t minimize what they’re feeling. It helps them understand that their emotions are a normal response to life’s challenges.
Many people find it helpful to compare mental health care to physical therapy. Just as physical therapy helps restore strength and mobility after an injury, emotional support can help people regain confidence, coping skills and a sense of well-being.
How Senior Life Solutions Can Help
Senior Life Solutions is an intensive outpatient program for adults 55 and older dealing with depression, grief, anxiety through daily life or major life changes.
The outpatient program promotes a group therapy environment that provides a safe place to provide support, promote social skills and give individuals the opportunity to successfully overcome struggles.
“We encourage families to think about emotional health the same way they think about physical health,” said Amy Graham, RN, with the Taylorville Memorial Hospital Senior Life Solutions program. “Both deserve attention, and both can improve with the right support.”
The most important part of any conversation is listening. Allow your loved one time to share their thoughts and feelings without rushing to fix the situation.
Be patient. Meaningful conversations often happen over time, not in a single sitting.
“Sometimes the most important message a person needs to hear is simply, ‘I’m here for you,'” said Sarah Tierney, RN, with Lincoln Memorial Hospital Senior Life Solutions. “That support can make all the difference.”
Learn More
Senior Life Solutions is available at Jacksonville Memorial Hospital, Lincoln Memorial Hospital and Taylorville Memorial Hospital. Many patients are covered through Medicare Part B or a Medicare Advantage plan but check with your insurance provider since out-of-pocket costs may vary.